My 1st 26.2 - the highs lows, and everything in between

I haven't written a blog in a while, and my life has moved on quite a bit since my last entry - I've moved home, finished my PhD (officially a Dr. Price!), I've started a new job and I've run my first marathon, so I thought it was about time I wrote another blog. I've missed writing down my ramblings more than I realised.

So it's been three weeks since I RAN MY FIRST MARATHON(!!!) and I still can't quite believe it. I signed up for the ABP Southampton Marathon on the 15th October after receiving my commiserations email from London. I thought if I was willing to run London - then I should take on the challenge anyway. So, without any idea of where I would be living, if I would have passed and finished my PhD, what job I would have (if any), I had in my head that at least I would know where I would be on the 22nd April 2018 - running my first marathon.

One of the reasons I had decided to take on the challenge of the full marathon was to mark 5 years since loosing my beautiful mum to Mesothelioma in November 2012. When she passed I had just started the final year of my undergraduate and in all honesty I wasn't in a great place for a few years after (but that discussion is for another time), now, looking back, running really helped me find myself again after a couple of years of numbness, and I will be forever grateful for what running has done for me.

After deciding to run in memory of my mum I decided to raise some money for Mesothelioma UK. Whilst I was thinking about fundraising I realised that a lot of the time diseases become alienated by their name. People may not have heard of a disease, and it almost immediately becomes impersonal. I think frequently we forget that behind every disease and illness, there are people. People that should be remembered. Not remembered as being defined by their disease but remembered for the incredible fight the disease put them through and their courage and determination to keep going.

For one, my mum was given 2 weeks when she was finally diagnosed and fought for 5 months. The will and determination for life that she expressed, even in her last weeks, was something I could never imagine. 

I decided I wanted to start a campaign - the people of mesothelioma - to honour and remember all of the past and present mesothelioma warriors. The idea was that I would carry all of their names on my running kit while I ran Southampton Marathon.

I didn't expect much of a response but was over whelmed by the response the campaign received. I carried 32 names of past and present fighters over the finish line. A moment I will never forget.

In the lead up to the marathon, in all honesty I was just terrified. Terrified I couldn't do it. Thinking I was stupid for even trying. Scared of failing, scared of the heat expected on the day having trained in winter, scared of not fuelling properly, scared of the crowds, scared of the hills and if I'm honest, scared of pooping myself (not the most graceful first marathon appearance). The one thing that got me to that start line was the support from all of the people that put names of warriors forward. I can't thank them enough for the support they gave me. 

The night before the marathon I sat in a hotel room with one of my biggest supporters (my sister), and looked through photos that people were tweeting me of the people I would be carrying the next morning. I couldn't help but well up, how much this all meant to me was hitting me right in the chest in a way I could never have imagined. 

The morning of the marathon I woke up, feeling incredibly tense and terrified but I put my Mesothelioma UK vest on covered in the names of #thepeopleofmesothelioma and was taken over by an intense feeling of determination. There was no way I wasn't finishing. 

With fear in my stride I walked to the race village in silence with my sister and partner along side me chatting. I couldn't deal with that now. My way to deal with anxiety is to become silent and as still as possible (minus the shaking ;)). As I was about to go into the baggage tent to drop my change of clothes off, a woman approached me and asked if I was Eugenia - I had her dads name on my top. She thanked me, along with the people that were with her. I couldn't speak. I can't at the best of times due to my social anxiety, but this was even more intense, I said thank you for coming up to me and held in the tears. As soon as she left I just looked at my sister, and we both cried - I needed this. After seeing the family of people I was running for, I was more determined than ever. I dropped off my bag, went for one last loo stop and went to the start line.

The wait for the gun to go off felt like a lifetime, I was surrounded by people, and they were all getting closer and closer, squishing me. I tried to just keep my breathing calm and kept looking at my hands where I had written 'you've got this' and 'yes you can' - something to remind me that I was capable when my mind started faltering.

6 minutes or so after the first wave of runners I finally crossed the start line and I was off! Around 1/2 a mile in to the run I saw a running friend, Jonathan. We've been friends on social media for a while but never met in person. I saw him and my nerves almost got the better of me, but I shouted 'Jonathan!' and I'm so glad I did. We had a friendly chat (and of course a sneaky selfie c.o. Jonathan) and this gave me a boost of positivity I carried with me throughout the run.

Southampton marathon route. Find it on strava here.

Southampton marathon elevation profile. Find it on strava here

The route was fantastic - although a two lap course I have to say this is one of my favourite races so far, and despite all the horrors I heard about the Itchen bridge prior to the race, it really wasn't that bad (until you're going up it for the fourth time XD!). 

The course takes you through the town, over the Itchen Bridge, around the seafront, through a bit of housing, through the stadium, past the harbour and through parks. The course features really diverse scenery - just what you want to distract yourself. 

The run was going surprisingly well until the second loop, just after the half way point. At the start of the loop I started laughing hysterically at a woman next to me asking 'are you regretting doing the full now too?!' having already endured the heat and hills for 2 hours. 

At this point I saw my supporters for the second time and they ran a little bit with me cheering me on like I was Mo Farah. At first I thought all was going well - over 13 miles in and I was still doing OK. This lasted until I went up over the Itchen Bridge for the 4th time.

I had to walk. Something I never did in training and didn't intend to do on the day. But it was the only thing keeping me going. I was pooring water over myself at every station, soaking myself, but I was still way too hot. As soon as I was a hundred meters away from the water station I was roasting again. 

I had to keep going so I convinced myself that if I ran for another 10 minutes I could walk for 30 seconds. This went on from miles 19 miles to 23.5.. playing a to and fro mental game with myself to keep going. Around 19.5 miles I started crying, I couldn't contain it, I don't know why. I was hot, I was tired, but I was OK,  I just couldn't stop the tears. I managed to keep it in for a while and then I saw my sister and boyfriend again at around 20 miles. This would be the last time I saw them until the finish, and unlike the first time I saw them at the same place (at 6 miles) where I flung my arms up in a peace signs, I couldn't even properly look at them. I tried to smile but instead floods of tears came out. What I was managing to keep in was suddenly an open dam. The thought that I had over an hour left to run was tearing down my defences. I ran on with huge shouts of 'DO IT FOR THE PEOPLE OF MESOTHELIOMA' behind me egging me on for the final 10km as I wiped the tears from my face. 

When I got the 38km mile mark I knew I could do it. I had 4km to go and the managing director of the company I work for was waiting with her family at 25 miles to support me. Knowing that this final boost of support was a mile or so ahead and that there was half an hour left I had a new lease of life. I put one foot in front of the other, grinned and waved as I passed Elaine and her family, and just kept running, I passed the 25 mile marker, the 26 mile marker and suddenly I was in the finish tunnel madly searching right to left so I didn't miss my sister and boyfriend. I needed to see them, to know they were there with me.

It wasn't until I was steps from the line that I saw them - my sister shouting her lungs off and martin grinning and cheering next to her. I threw my arms in the air and was filled with a huge surge of pride, like something I had never felt before in my life. 

I was done. I had ran a friggin marathon! Thousands of steps, breaths, tears, heartbeats and 26.2 miles in 4 hours 39 minutes. I carried 32 names across the line and I'm sure that all of them were there with me. I had no doubt my mum was looking down on me with so much pride (I hope so anyway).

All I can say, is a marathon is another beast compared to any other race I've run. I had emotions I have never experienced before while running, and it's something I will never forget. People told me that it would be a few weeks before I wanted to run another, it was a few moments. I will be back marathon - you're a beast I can't wait to tackle again - and maybe next time, I can be mentally stronger and run every single step. 

Looking back now, one thing I want to say is if you want to run a marathon DO IT! I have incredible amounts of self doubt at the best of times (I'm working on it), and if I can do it - so can you. Hell or high water, if you want it enough you can do it and I will be with you every step of the way.

The fighting force that the warriors of every disease carry with them in their spirit is something we should all strive to embody. I truly believe that if people like my mum can fight a disease for 5 months, fighting for every step, every breath and every moment, any of us can run a marathon. It may be a fight, but it will be nothing compared to what many people are fighting every day behind closed doors.

This has been a long one - so thank you for reading and finally, thank you to everyone that has supported me, through donations, sharing my posts, spreading the word and getting involved.

I couldn't have done it without knowing so many people were willing me to finish.

Live strong, live happy, live free.

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Until next time - always remember, that sometimes, freedom is only a run away.

#runyourmindfree

My 3rd 13.1 - Ealing Half Marathon review

The day started the best way it could have - smoothly. I got the tube to the recommended stop, Northfields Station, that was a supposed 10 minute walk from the event village (actually more like 5 minutes). There were no delays on the tube, I was running on time, and I got to Lammas park, the location of the start and finish, by around 8. Plenty of time before the 9am start.

The immediate atmosphere was awesome from the moment I stepped into the park. The event village was full with so many people with smiley faces, warming up in the luscious greenery of the park. It seemed really relaxed and laid back and despite my ever present nerves, the atmosphere definitely didn't make my nerves any worse. As starts go, this has to be one of my favourite locations I've had so far. There was no long walk to the start line, no rushing, and no horrendous queues for that essential pre-race I'm terrified loo stop.

There was a pre-race warm up at 8:30, but I chose to miss this for a second panicked loo stop before the event (as anxiety goes, not being able to find a toilet quick enough around any race is top of my list).

Around 8:45/ 8:50 I wandered over to the start area and slipped in to where I would normally put myself for a half, between the 1hr50 and 2hr pacers, and before I knew it we were 30 seconds from the count down to the start of the race. 

Here is where it started going down hill for me. Moments before the whistle blew I wiped my eye, and my contact decided to abandon ship, luckily I managed to get it back in in a mad panic, but not before putting it in the wrong way first. 

Pro Tip : don't risk wiping your eyes before the race - it's not worth it when your contact isn't dedicated to remaining in your eye.

Anyway, post contact near disaster, the gun went off and we were off! The support was great in the first few miles, especially the church group at around mile 1 with their loud music, cheering and happy faces.

Ealing half marathon is described as undulating and the hills seemed to start right from the beginning. Despite the hills the route is lovely and takes you around the streets and parks of Ealing with a couple of loop back sections. You can find the Strava segment here.

Ealing Half Marathon Route

Ealing Half Marathon elevation profile

For the first 5 miles or so, before I was over taken by a guy pushing his child and running in flip flops (yes you read that right - running in FLIP FLOPS), I was doing OK. Not my normal pace, but OK. After mile 5, I was over taken by the 2 hour pacers, the hills got the better of me, and I really started to struggle with the combination of hills and hotter weather than I was hoping for (it was around 19/20 degrees). Even so, I kept going and pushed through.

One thing I didn't know about ealing is that it is beautiful - we went through a couple of local parks on the route and for me they were a definite pick me up. At around 15km we passed through a park and then had about a 1km section where we rejoined an earlier part of the route. Normally I don't like loop backs, but there was something about seeing such a vast quantity of runners (there was around 7000 entrants) that really gave me a boost. I had been mentally struggling to keep going but after this section I knew I was going to make it. 

Despite the struggle, I felt the entire way around that I was in it together with the other runners, sure people over took me, but there were also other people struggling, and I felt as though we were at least in it together. This is not something I always feel in races and really appreciated it.

The final 3 miles were mostly flat/ decline and this was a life saver. At around 18km we passed the awesome drumming church group for the second time who gave me a shout out and gave me the last boost I needed.

1km from the finish you enter Lammas park for a final lap of the park to the finish. Normally this last km is hellish, but I'm so glad to say that the immense support along the entire loop in the park made it fly by quicker than any last km in the past. I loved it and had an amazing sense of relief as I crossed that finish line knowing I'd just completed my 3rd half marathon.

Yes - I was slower than ever before. Yes - I even walked a bit (for the first time ever). But most importantly, Yes - I had finished and I was proud. 

Highlights: Orange slices being handed out along route, the numerous seamless water stops (with small perfect sized bottles), all of the locals standing outside their homes to cheer us on, the scenery, 'eye of the tiger' being blasted outside someones house, the enthusiastic church group, a great medal (coming from someone who isn't a massive medal fan this is a big deal!).. and the list goes on. 

What you get for entry: number in the post (my preference), water stops, chip timing, medal & water at the finish.

It's worth noting that yes this is described as an undulating marathon and lives up to it, but, had it been any other time I wouldn't have struggled so much on the hills. They're definitely not as bad as they sound - it was just a bad race for me. 

Hopefully next year I'll come back & show those hills what I'm really capable of! Until then - thanks Ealing Half Marathon CIC - you were awesome. 

Entries are now open for 2018 : enter here.

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Until next time - always remember, that sometimes, freedom is only a run away.

#runyourmindfree

My 1st 13.1 - Reading Half Marathon Review

I did it! I ran a half marathon, and guess what?

I loved it.

If you read my previous post you will have seen how anxious I was pre-race day.

I was apprehensive, lacking self belief, and kind of dreading it.

The event itself however was just incredible.

Luckily my biggest worry was getting there and once that part was ticked off I was able to relax & soak up the atmosphere pre-race.

(Note: this did mean I was at the race village over an hour earlier than I needed, but if that meant I could relax, what's the harm? Better safe than sorry.)

We parked in Reading centre at the Queens Road NCP car park (£6 for the entire day), arriving at around 7:15, and then walked the ~8mins to Reading Station where there was shuttles already waiting for us.

We jumped straight on the bus and we were dropped at the Madejski Stadium next to the race village in less than 20 mins.
As we were so early we decided to sit in the stadium and watch the runners of the Green Park challenge run in and then at around 9 we started walking over to the start line. I recommend going to the bathroom in the stadium before you head over as the queues for the loos near the start line were HUGE.

Note: the start line was ~ 25 min walk from the race village so I really wouldn't recommend coming in last minute as the race set of bang on time.

Sign posting was clear to the start line and I just followed the flow of people. The race was separated into colour pens depending on expected finish time. I headed for my allocated pen (green - sub 02:00:00) where I left my partner and beelined straight for the 1:55 pacer. Spectators can follow around the outside of the actual start line pens but are separated at this stage.

10 minutes or so before the race started there was a warm up which I could hear over the speakers but I was too far back to see anything. Even so me and some of the surrounding people tried to keep up and join in. The wheelchair race was set of at 10:00, the elite runners at 10:15 and the remaining pens let off in waves of relatively quick succession. I was in the 6th wave and set out at 10:28.

The first couple of miles near the race village was packed with spectators and it was great to have so many people there to get you off to a good start. My aim was to stay with the 1:55 pacer but after a little while I decided I wanted to just ran at my natural pace so ran ahead slightly and just tried to settle into the run.

The course was completely closed to traffic, taking you firstly through green park followed by an industrial park and then through some residential areas where there is a considerable climb between 2 and 4km. The race then takes you through a section of the Reading University Campus. From here you head into the centre of the city where the crowds explode & the energy increases 10 fold. You hit the heart of the city around half way around (6 or 7 miles) and this is a great boost mid race.
Coming out of the centre you hit your second incline - although smaller than the first, due to the position in the run around mile 8, this hill feels pretty substantial. From there on out though you're in for steady sailing home passing through some more residential areas before turning on to the final straight stretch back with a view of the Madejski Stadium at the end of the road.

Reading Half Route - You can see the Strava segment here.

Reading Half elevation profile

I have to be honest that that final stretch for me was one of the harder parts of the race - it lasts about 3k where you're just staring at the Stadium which gives you the 'so close but so far' kind of feeling.
Despite that it was perfectly flat which was good & meant you could power down that last stretch with your goal insight (if you've got any energy left at this stage).

The stadium finish was just incredible.

 I managed to pick up the pace coming in and I don't know whether it was the adrenaline, the crowd or maybe I just had enough energy left in me but I felt so strong! The sprint felt natural and was a truly amazing feeling running across that line with the cheering crowds knowing I'd ran a half marathon, enjoyed it, and wasn't in the slightest bit broken.

One thing I definitely have to say about this race is that the support & entertainment along the route was amazing and definitely kept my spirits high the entire way around.
For me the highlights were the live music groups including the drumming group in Reading centre in the underpass (which I clapped as I ran past which may have gained me a couple of strange glances from fellow runners & spectators), the incredibly loud tunes coming from the Reading Family Church group and the random shop owner handing out clementines around mile 7.

Thanks to the many shout outs of 'come on Gen!' especially to the woman at miles 6 with a 'looking really strong Gen!' and the woman at mile 9 while I was having a gel with the 'YES! YOU EAT THAT GEN!', you gave me a couple of extra boosts I really appreciated.
Also an extra thanks to the woman who was chatting to their friend on the second & last hill saying it was all downhill from there - I had NO idea of the race profile and felt a massive mental boost knowing that all I had to do is power up that last hill & the half was in the bag.

Fuelling wise I would definitely recommend taking your own gels or whatever your booster of choice is. There were ample water stops (3,5,6,9 & 12mi) with the addition of bottles of Lucozade at 5 & 9 miles and although I did take the Lucozade and appreciated them I just couldn't take much on due to the amount of liquid and not wanting to have to take a toilet break. If Lucozade/ energy drinks are your usual choice then this will be great for you but for me I felt like having the lucozade was bordering on too much liquid & not enough energy.

All in all Reading Half Marathon is an amazing race.
The support throughout was incredible, from the constant cheering, Jelly babies galore, people handing out extra water, a beer stop on the last hill (for those inclined) the organisation and the stadium finale everything was smooth from start to finish and an all round pleasure to be a part of.

I loved my first half coming in at a respectable 1:54:12 and placing 690/3596 women and 3927/9720 overall.
I will most definitely be back for more next year
& I can't wait for round 2! :)

I hope this review was helpful for someone and please come back for more :).

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Always remember, that sometimes, freedom is only a run away.

#runyourmindfree

How to race with Flu and Bramley 20/10 Review

Piece of advice no. 1 - don't..

but if you're super stubborn and refuse to waste your money here's how it turned out for me.

First of all lets get my symptoms clear. I hadn't been to a doctor to confirm I had flu, but compared to just a cold, this came on pretty rapidly and I had a fever 2 days before the run, which to me says flu.

To get into the gory details my nose had been streaming for 3 days, my sinuses were very sore and on the day of the race my chest just hurt when I woke up with a feeling of constant compression and acheyness. 

Despite this I woke up knowing I probably shouldn't run but knowing I still would. That's just who I am unfortunately and often won't give up, even though that's definitely what would be good for me.

I started making sure I was hydrated the day before the race as this is crucial when you're healthy and running and even more so if you're a bit under the weather.

So pre-race, around an hour and a half before running, I had around 600ml of smoothie consisting of banana, mango, berries, two handfuls of spinach and some water. I also necked a double espresso before hopping in the car to get to the race.

When I woke up I had a couple of ibuprofen and around half an hour before the run I took some cold and flu caps with some water (again I know you shouldn't take pain killers before a run but needs must).

So to the race : Reading Road Runners Bramley 20/10
The race was held on Sunday 19th Feb 2017 and is a road race around the small village of Bramley in Hampshire. The race is a 10 mile loop and has two distance options for the race; the single loop at 10 miles, or you can opt for two loops for 20.
The longest race for me before this was a 10k and I had regularly been running 10 miles for over a month prior to this race but no further, so I signed up for the 10 mile. Here's me at the beginning - smiling but inside just super anxious genuinely thinking I might not make it around a run for the first time.

Arriving at the event was really straight forward. Directions to the parking was very easy, we pulled into the parking area handed an attendant £2 and were directed to pull into our spot. We arrived just after 9 and had no problem getting a space but I imagine it was pretty packed when everyone had finished arriving.

From the parking area it was a gentle 10 minute walk to the race village and we just followed the steady stream of runners already on the way over. The atmosphere on arriving to the race HQ was friendly with what seemed to be a large amount of club runners. I thought I would find this a little intimidating as I'm not affiliated to a club but felt none of this on the day.

Tip 1: get in the queue for the toilets early. 
There was a really good number of porter loos for the amount of people around but the queue still took around 10 mins to get through before the start.

The race started off really promptly at 10:30, for some reason taking me by surprise as I thought 'what was that noise?!' swiftly followed by 'aaaah.. I'm meant to be running!'.

The entire run was around narrow picturesque country roads with the odd busier road. Although not closed to traffic the amount of cars was really small and management was great when there were any crossings or cars trying to get past. The mass of runners was so dense that for most of the race I don't think any cars would have got through anyway. For the 20 milers the field reduced significantly so I imagine for the second lap cars may have become more of an issue.

The drink stations were a good distance apart for me. There were three water stations at 3, 5 and 8 miles with an option of an isotonic drink at 5 miles (which I gladly took as by mile 5 I was definitely starting to feel light headed). There was also another water station with isotonic drinks just after 10 miles for the 20 milers. The water & isotonic drink were served in cups which I still haven't mastered drinking from while running which resulted in my throwing a lot of water over myself... but lets put that down to experience :P.

Bramley 10 route

Bramley 10 elevation profile

There were inclines at around 6 & 8 miles on the course. I wouldn't call them considerable inclines but I imagine for the second loop the second hill at 8 feels a lot bigger than it does the first time around. I was slightly concerned the inclines were going to be a killer, but weren't really anything to get too upset about. You can find the Strava segment for the Bramley 10 here for more details.

There was an official photographer there on the day but also an additional photographer who provided free photos for the race. This snap was taken at 8.5 miles, just after throwing my 3rd cup of water over myself. Definitely a good look. I knew at this point that I could finish the race so almost even mustered up a smile ;)!

photo credit: Barry Cornelius

Tip 2: Don't wear too much. 

On the day it ended up being a bit chillier than I had expected so opted to run in a thin hoody. This was a big mistake and I felt like I was over heating from around 2 miles. Although it was chilly waiting at the start line I think the mass of bodies running closely together means when we set off it warmed up considerably more than on normal runs by myself (and I'm a living radiator).

The last mile seemed to drag a lot, but I imagine if I had been 100% that it wouldn't have felt quite so bad. There were markers every 1/4 of a mile for that last mile, and for me I think that made it worse, not a criticism as I'm sure it's good for some people, but every time it marked another 1/4mi I just felt like I should be further than that. Coming into the finish there was a nice crowd and two funnels, one to the left for the 10 milers finishing and the 20 milers keeping to the right and going off on their second lap. 

Chip timing was provided by reusable chips secured either to your shoe or around your ankle with velcro that had been provided with the chip. These were handed back immediately to people waiting at the race finish. Provisional chip results were up the same evening.

After handing back the chip I went to pick up my race memento & medal. We were handed a draw string Bramley 20/10 cotton bag which contained the medal and just a load of snacks including pistachios and a mars bar - the perfect post race pack for me! I was really pleased with the additional bag too - a bit different to a T-shirt or other memento.

Despite feeling my worst ever during a run I still completed the race in 1:28:46 which I was happy with considering how I felt on the day. It was my slowest 10 mile and I was hoping for 1:25:00 but in all honesty I was just happy to complete it. During the race I knew I was running slower than my normal pace and tried to push it a bit back to my normal 10 mile pace but when I tried this I immediately became light headed and just couldn't do it. This was a completely new sensation for me as I normally just run at my comfortable pace and have never felt that kind of barrier before.

All in all I think this was a great race - I wish I had been concentrating less on finishing and had taken in the scenery a bit more as it really was a nice village to run around. It's quite a calm, remote run that seemed very friendly.  

So after running with flu how was I feeling post race?

Initially when I stopped I felt pretty faint and went straight over to the water table to have a couple of glasses. After cooling down a bit I felt a bit better but probably just from the adrenaline of the race. I then went into Reading to have lunch, at which point I just rubbed my neck and realised my glands were huge - I mean you could see a ball sticking out of my neck from across the table.

While sitting at lunch I felt fine but around half an hour after leaving the restaurant started feeling really, really, really rough (around 2 hours post race). I felt like I was going to pass out and felt very queasy and like I was going to have to run to a bathroom AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I quickly got my hands on a lucosade and some flu caps and shortly afterwards started to feel a bit better, luckily with none of the above happening.

For the rest of the day I was just very tired and still felt worse for wear for about 48 hours after the race. A week on though the flu has now passed apart from a slight cough. I have to admit that I definitely think recovery took a lot longer than it would have had I not raced but in the long run I don't think I've done any long term damage.

In summary, I ran the race with flu symptoms, it was significantly harder than normal, I was slower than normal and I definitely couldn't enjoy the run as much as usual, but I still completed the race and my overall time was not drastically worse than I was hoping for.

My advice would be to really assess how you're feeling on the day of the race if you're concerned you're not well enough. If you have any sort of fever don't run. If the symptoms are above the chest I think you're probably fine to run, but take it all in your stride and don't hesitate to drop out if you need to. 

I hope this review was helpful for someone and please come back for more :).